If an F1 team is a football club? Part 1

We’re not going to lie to you, we miss the Formula 1 Grand Prix badly. To pass the time, we thought about the possible similarities that could exist between F1 teams and football clubs. Be careful, some get dizzy.

Alfa Romeo

Crystal Palace.

At first glance, there are a few points that hold them together. But when you dig a little deeper, you’ll quickly realize that these two sporting entities share the same passion: giving their workforces French. In Alfa Roméo, the change came from Frédéric Vasseur. Fred has been appointed manager of the Alfa Romeo team since 2016, and Fred did not consider bringing in his countrymen. Jean Moncho, technical director, and Theo Borshire, reserve driver.

Not forgetting Julian Simon Chotemps, race engineer Kimi Raikkonen, now on Channel + to explain to us the airflow behavior on the open rear wing while cornering after 285 km/h. Al-Qaeda. Vasier did not delay when it was necessary to sign Charles Leclerc, French-speaking but no more. What we wouldn’t do to speak Molière’s language at work.

But Frédéric Wasser isn’t the only one with this brilliant idea. In the Premier League, Patrick Vieira has been inspired by the Alfa Romeo team manager since his arrival last summer at Crystal Palace. And among the seven recruits last season, three are French: Odson-Edouard, Jean-Philippe Mateta and Michael Ulis. In the middle we call it “Alain Pardew’s recipe”.

We can’t help but appreciate Jean-Philippe’s accent of excellence upon his arrival. It is impossible not to remember the famous press conferences of Claude Boyle. Like the impression that he responded in French to English journalists.

Alps

F.C.B.

During this summer vacation, these two institutions distinguished their sport for many years. Each of them has left an indelible mark by following the same logic, based on two actions. The first part of this duo consists of surfing in a panic of monsters about the transfer period.

As for Barcelona, ​​we still claim that there are no more pesos in the coffers. But this does not prevent cules To record novice after novice: Raphinha (58 million euros), Jules Conde (50 million euros) or even Robert Lewandowski (45 million euros). A trick worthy of the great Bruel. So much so, that Leeds United owner Andrea Radrizzani directly threatens Barcelona in case of non-payment.

As for the Alps, it was the sequence of Fernando Alonso’s sudden departure – the denial from Oscar Piastre was swift, but terribly effective. The Alpine situation is now simple; They have just lost their lead pilot and have yet to find anyone to replace him. A wonderful vacation for them.

The second act consists in not leaving her, and showing the biscuit by threatening to go to court to “defend human rights”. Understand this: they are ready to fight.

“We are 90% sure that we will go to the Supreme Court, that is what we will do” O. Szafnauer

Should Alpine win the case, the Szafnauer-Piastri collaboration already promises to be great. We can only imagine Ottmar choosing Oscar rain tires all season. Including the Bahrain oven. Same story for FC Barcelona, ​​which is ready to cancel the contract extension in 2020, because it is considered too expensive. For example, we feel that the environment in which De Jong develops is quite healthy.

While waiting for court decisions, one thing is already certain, these two sold us dreams during this “break”.

Alpha Tour

Barcelona b.

It is well known that exercising is a good thing, but it is even better with the family. On the face of it, this saying is taken by some institutions in many sports. For Red Bull, what could be better than finding an Italian name for his little sister? Toro Rosso, now Alpha Tori. Red Bull’s bosom is so tight, Pierre Gasly wouldn’t tell you otherwise. It is impossible to get out of it once you set foot in it. If you get out of it, you can say goodbye to F1. A little extreme, we know.

In football, we can compare Barcelona to his little brother FC Barcelona B. Like Alpha Tauri, Barça B lurks in the shadow of his older brother. Can you name a current player from the Catalan sub-team? of course not. We also assure you, Barcelona supporters.

But the comparison does not end there. If you want a fast and efficient elevator for your building, we recommend going to the Alpha Tauri and Barcelona B models. History remembers the winners, but rarely did Vettel, Ricciardo, Verstappen, Gasly, Xavi, Puyol and Iniesta move in these semi-anonymous subsidiaries. We find such a denier role in tennis, with the towel rack drenched in sweat. And whoever takes himself in addition to the blower if one tenth is too long to attend.

Small flat In this comparison, Barcelona B’s promotion to La Liga is prohibited due to its status. On the other hand, the story is completely different for Alpha Tauri. And we’d rather never know her.

Aston Martin

Manchester United.

Two iconic names that inspire millions of fans around the world. One for earning nicknames with Sir Alex, and the other for his legendary association with James Bond. Two entities brew money so they don’t know what to do with it. Two institutions that don’t hesitate to use their money to steal high-profile names at the end of their careers. Neither Ronaldo nor Cavani, nor Vettel or Alonso, will tell us otherwise.

But the main point in common between Manchester United and Aston Martin lies in the fact that their recipe does not take at all. Like mayonnaise that doesn’t rise, or rice cooked to perfection. The recipe is not good and the result is indigestible.

However, one could not help but imagine the personnel exchange between the two teams. It’s a tough choice between mechanic Harry Maguire, who spoiled the singles seat just before the start, and winger Lance Stroll, who spends more time off the field than indoors.

Ferrari

Paris Saint-Germain.

Who other than Paris Saint-Germain will join Scuderia Ferrari? What other football club is so fun to watch when it comes to finishing a big game? Definitely the most obvious option on this list. It’s hard to say which one has the most messy strategies at crucial moments. We all remember Laurent Blanc’s 3-5-2 win against Manchester City, or Charles Leclerc’s hard tyres in Hungary. Not to mention his killer blood in his fend off at home in Monaco. The list is long.

But perhaps the funniest thing about it is the fact that these two giants refuse to learn from their mistakes year after year. The return of the Catalans came after the return of Mancon and Madrid to Paris Saint-Germain.

For Ferrari, each weekend presents a new challenge to accomplish another task in terms of strategy.

In short, two sacred beasts of their sport.

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